tim’s thought property

Today I stopped by the mall to see Brianna at work. When I returned to my car, I had started it, and turned to see the glove box opened. Now, in all calmness, I thought that the latch broke, since the Passat is a junky car. But, I saw that my Sufjan Christmas CD was gone and my backpack missing from the passenger seat.
Two things struck me as odd, 1) the glove box open, and my CD wallet still in it, with all its cds; and 2) my light-weight, and virtually empty backpack stolen. I’m not mad so much as I am disappointed. In the backpack was my $.99 copy of Moby Dick, my $10 copy of Geez magazine (bought out of curiosity, and the publication of a friend’s article), and likely my relatively new pocket Bible (bought for the convenience of weight). What I am the most aggravated at is the loss of my journal, which I’ve had for almost four years. I’ve covered all of my year on Sod, my Internship and last year within it, and as journals go, its personal, meaningful and absolutely worthless to a stranger. I hoped that perhaps anything from this backpack could be found on the ground in the surrounding area. No such luck.

As I drove home, I was thinking of how I would be accepting to let anything go from that ‘haul’, except my journal. I mean, I can replace everything else - its all material. But whats in my journal is a stock of personal memories, prayers, frustrations and hopes, general growth stuff.
As I was trying to put a better light on things, I thought how anything could be useful. I mean, a bag is handy. You could read Moby Dick, the magazine or my journal (if the first two weren’t enjoyable enough) or use the books as fire starters. What’s the point in getting angry about it anyhow? Getting mad at an unknown figure, who would end up serving as a scapegoat for the neighbourhood wouldn’t make things different. Reporting a minor loss as a backpack and some books would only really recover the bag, if that. So what am I left with? Get mad for the loss of my personal recorded memories? I suppose. That seems as good a reason as any.

I don’t know. I feel defeated. Perhaps this can be a clean slate to start from. A new journal to begin, and record in (this will be journal from last Christmas, Sarah); new lessons in keeping my belongings in check; and maybe even some third thing. I’m not sure.